Well what kind of comments is Syd making, and who is he making them in front of?
If he is privatly telling his mother that he doesn't think he believes in god or organized religion, just because it is something on his mind since he is kind of at that age where he will want to start discussing the deeper things in life, well, in that case she should want to encourage his conversation so that she can share with him her ideas and beliefs. If that is the case, then I don't see what her problem is with the whole thing.
However, if he is making comments about religion and god in front of people that do believe in god or do belong to an orginized religion, and the comments are not him sharing his views, but saying things like "anyone who believes in god just hasn't researched enough" or "isn't intelligent", or "is under the influence of mind control", well then I can kind of see Tab's point. It's one thing to have open conversation and share your own beliefs. But if he is being critical of religion, or a belief in god, in front of people that have a religion or a belief in god, I can see how that would be something that might upset Tab, simply because she may feel that that attitude will make it hard for Syd to fit in socially. Especially if he is not fitting in socially with the people who are around them while he is with her because of his comments.
For example, I don't believe in Santa Claus, and we are not going to teach Owen to believe in this mythical character either. He has been introduced to it as a fun story that people like to talk about around the holiday season. I wont mind of he tells his friends that his family doesn't include the story of Santa Claus in their holiday celebration. However, I would not want him to be critical of a belief in Santa Claus and imply that people who do believe in him are not very intelligent or whatever. If he did this it would be rude and uncaring, it would be uncomfortable for everyone around at the time, and the person he confronts in this way might become very upset with the news that their reality is thought to be a fairy tale by someone. It would also be incorrect, because ignorance does not equal intelligance in all cases. Having that attitude about it could cause him to ruin friendships. If he simply states his beliefs, this may upset another child, but their parents could then explain this away the same way that they do when other kids don't belive in Santa or even celebrate Christmas at all. I just think there is a big difference between saying "I don't believe in Santa Claus" and saying "believing in Santa Claus is so dumb, of course he doesn't exist, there is not one shred of proof that he exists".
ryan
· 2 years ago
These are comments that Syd is making to his mother privately. Considering her harsh views on organized religion, he probably assumes she's in agreement. I have repeatedly stressed to him that it is impolite and inappropriate to rip on the beliefs of other people or say anti-religious things in front of other people. I have never seen him do any such thing, either. In front of believers he is always very respectful, as he should be. It seems, however, that she is more upset about him having the opinions in the first place than anything else, which I think is incorrect on her part.
James
· 2 years ago
That's a tough one. Seems like a fine line there. Parents naturally want their children to be in agreement with them on major issues, but, as you said, Syd and Tab don't seem to be at odds here.
If she doesn't like his anti-religious leanings, maybe she can get him interested in some spirituality (non-organized religion spirituality). That would be better than her just complaining about it.
Jennifer
· 2 years ago
That is strange then if these are just private conversations between a mother and son. It wasn't clear in your orignal post that these were private conversations. When I hear "increasingly vocal" I think 'telling everyone who will listen'. If he is just trying to have a conversation with his own mother then what is the problem? It seems like she is just mad that Syd seems to be agreeing with you more on the religious side of things then with her.
MJ
· 2 years ago
Hey Ryan. Regarding this post, and Sid speaking out against Christianity lately. First off, let me say, your quote, "The idea that there is a bearded gentleman in the sky who wants to be our dad would be nice if he wasn’t portrayed as a xenophobic psychopath with low self-esteem by most of the world’s major faiths."
First of all I have never heard that God is a bearded guy in the sky, who's my daddy. I've also never heard that He is an "xenophobic psychopath", on the contrary I've heard he is of the most "sound mind," of any being, ever, long before even the dinosaurs. Low self esteem? Again, on the contrary, He is of the Highest Esteem... He is all-seeing, all-knowing... all everything. We all might learn a few things from the example we're told, or at least I've been told, God is.
RE: Sid speaking out against Christianity, I'm certain will continue creating more complications for him because most kids who go to school either have a religious belief, or are instructed, how you claimed you've explained to be considerate of others' beliefs, to learn how to be empathetic of others beliefs. PLEASE REMEMBER that kids of all ages learn what they know and speak from the adults around them- in the home, at school, and even from their fellow students and chums. Sid isn't speaking his thoughts, per say, on his own, I believe, but what he's hearing being spoken around him by most the adults in his life. Yes, I'm certain he's seen first-hand how religion divides. I know that, too. My family is split all over the place in soooooo many directions, religiously, and if it were that easy to just stop believing because others are confused or 'appearing' to confuse my, or others, believes, I simply turn it over to God. He IS ALL seeing/knowing, and "mentally together," and He can deal with others 'quirks' easier than I can. For me, when I lost Mom (your grandmother) and other "sh**" that went down in my life, the lose of Rhett, etc., just stuff that I try not to dwell on, it would be so easy to say, "what the heck," and end it all? Why not? What have we got to lose? If we are simple returning, a flower or a bird, or what have you, no matter how we behave, if we were to end our own lives, for example, what difference would it make? Without God we really have nothing, nothing to look forward to after leaving here. (I am TRULY sorry that the J. Witnesses have let you down!!! :( You were raised in it, and it has got to be the HARDEST thing to deal with, when family members turn themselves off from you, ceasing all communication, unless smalltalk. ((I once had a sister who communicated with me with mainly smalltalk. {I think you know her well} We weren't as close after I stopped studying with the Witnesses when she was STILL one. She never told me stop calling or writing, etc., but there was a lack of communication after I stopped attending meetings. It tore me up, but, I hung in there.)) Yes, it's nuts, this world is crazy nowadays, but if I didn't have God or a HOPE, once I'm no longer on this planet, then what?) I "choose" to BELIEVE we have a much HIGHER PURPOSE, and if that makes me less, then I'm less. So many times I have felt so unloved by sooooooooooo many people, perhaps myself, included, that without that "belief" I'd be gone... I'd be no more.... But I "chose" to live on, and just tell myself I'm good, as is, and if someone thinks less of me because I'm depressed, or what have you, screw them, I don't need them. I won't give up God, because without that FAITH I'm very much unloved and alone. (I still feel this way now.) There are many in my family who no longer communicate with me since my mom died! I was with her six day a week, for many, many years. You'd think out of LOVE, they would write or call me once and awhile just to see how I'm handling my aloneness, but no such luck. I spoke to one sister after hearing she'd suffered a few minor heart attacks, and I phoned her to see if she was alright, and her remark. "Don't ask me to live with me, because you can't") WOW, that CUT like a KNIFE, I never asked to live with her, nor wanted to, I just wanted to see that she was okay. But I considered the "source." I'm alone almost every day for the majority of the day, and still have loved ones around me a few times a week, but mostly I'm alone. I miss Mom so much! So you see, for me, without God, I'm TOTALLY ALONE, mostly isolated, with only my beloved pets. My family could care less if I die, I'm sure, for the most part... at least half of them could give a crap. But I "choose" to forgive them, because I ROCK, and if they don't want anything to do with me, that is THEIR LOSS- no big deal. I still have GOD.. You see, He IS important to me.... or I'd be WAY alone since losing Mom.
I, too, know people of other faiths/religions. My friend Rick Springfield claims he is a Buddhist, and yet this year he's putting out a new Christmas CD. I think he's confused, but whatever.... When we talk it's normally smalltalk stuff. If I ever asked him why he claims he's a Buddhist, and then does a Christmas CD, I think, truthfully, even though he speaks with his "mouth" one thing, he "believes, deep down in his heart," that without God and Christ, there's really nothing. I've told him, via telephone- when he claims we all need to ask for "healing light," or what have you around us, I remind him that he's wrong, that we need God and Jesus. I think deep down he believes this too, and I told him how I'm certain his father is waiting in that "better place" for him. Rick's dad died in 1981. I am nearly 90% certain that he figures this is true, too. What is so wrong with wanting to seeing our deceased loved ones, and clinging to a hope that we WILL one day. If not, I never got the chance to know my dad, your grandfather, because he died when I was three, but I want to know him and know I will know him one day. Jerry died when I was eleven. So many other lost loved ones. I'm sorry but this truly baffles me, why believe in NOTHING when EVERYTHING is so easy to have. Nobody said we all must be "perfect," just forgiven. We stumble, we fall; we get back up, dust ourselves off, and ask to be forgiven, and, we TRY all over again. This, to me, is what Christianity is all about.
You are RIGHT, LOVE is KEY, but without God there is no love. I'm sorry. He isn't a big bearded man in the sky without self esteem, nor a psychopath, ,but a loving Daddy who accepts we all makes mistakes, and loves us in spite of those mistakes... even when we go, "ROUND TWO HUNDRED," or whatever. He's there for us.
I LOVE YOU with my WHOLE HEART, and I have since you were born, way back in 1973... You are a BEAUTIFUL MAN with a truly AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL HEART, and please love me the same because I'm speaking my mind, how you've done here.
Love always, MJ, your aunt... here in good old drizzly Minnesota!!
ryan
· 2 years ago
Hey Mary,
Of course I love ya, and I'm glad you spoke your mind. Like I've said over and over, love and compassion for other people, regardless of their religious beliefs. Love is my religion.
I'm glad you can think of God in such glowing terms. I know that religious people always say that he's the ultimate superlative good, but I personally can't square that with the character described in the Old Testament (that's where my "xenophobic psychopath with low self-esteem" comes in... xenophobic because he seems to despise all nations except Israel, psychopathic because he repeatedly kills people with no remorse and low self-esteem because he seems to require so much worship from people and nobody who is secure in themselves needs people to worship them). I don't care how many nice things you say about a mass-murderer, he's still a mass-murderer...
Hopefully, though, those stories aren't true and there really is a nice God and he's everything you need him to be. I'd like that for you and I'd never tell you not to believe in Him if it works for you.
All Comments
If he is privatly telling his mother that he doesn't think he believes in god or organized religion, just because it is something on his mind since he is kind of at that age where he will want to start discussing the deeper things in life, well, in that case she should want to encourage his conversation so that she can share with him her ideas and beliefs. If that is the case, then I don't see what her problem is with the whole thing.
However, if he is making comments about religion and god in front of people that do believe in god or do belong to an orginized religion, and the comments are not him sharing his views, but saying things like "anyone who believes in god just hasn't researched enough" or "isn't intelligent", or "is under the influence of mind control", well then I can kind of see Tab's point. It's one thing to have open conversation and share your own beliefs. But if he is being critical of religion, or a belief in god, in front of people that have a religion or a belief in god, I can see how that would be something that might upset Tab, simply because she may feel that that attitude will make it hard for Syd to fit in socially. Especially if he is not fitting in socially with the people who are around them while he is with her because of his comments.
For example, I don't believe in Santa Claus, and we are not going to teach Owen to believe in this mythical character either. He has been introduced to it as a fun story that people like to talk about around the holiday season. I wont mind of he tells his friends that his family doesn't include the story of Santa Claus in their holiday celebration. However, I would not want him to be critical of a belief in Santa Claus and imply that people who do believe in him are not very intelligent or whatever. If he did this it would be rude and uncaring, it would be uncomfortable for everyone around at the time, and the person he confronts in this way might become very upset with the news that their reality is thought to be a fairy tale by someone. It would also be incorrect, because ignorance does not equal intelligance in all cases. Having that attitude about it could cause him to ruin friendships. If he simply states his beliefs, this may upset another child, but their parents could then explain this away the same way that they do when other kids don't belive in Santa or even celebrate Christmas at all. I just think there is a big difference between saying "I don't believe in Santa Claus" and saying "believing in Santa Claus is so dumb, of course he doesn't exist, there is not one shred of proof that he exists".
If she doesn't like his anti-religious leanings, maybe she can get him interested in some spirituality (non-organized religion spirituality). That would be better than her just complaining about it.
Regarding this post, and Sid speaking out against Christianity lately. First off, let me say, your quote, "The idea that there is a bearded gentleman in the sky who wants to be our dad would be nice if he wasn’t portrayed as a xenophobic psychopath with low self-esteem by most of the world’s major faiths."
First of all I have never heard that God is a bearded guy in the sky, who's my daddy. I've also never heard that He is an "xenophobic psychopath", on the contrary I've heard he is of the most "sound mind," of any being, ever, long before even the dinosaurs. Low self esteem? Again, on the contrary, He is of the Highest Esteem... He is all-seeing, all-knowing... all everything. We all might learn a few things from the example we're told, or at least I've been told, God is.
RE: Sid speaking out against Christianity, I'm certain will continue creating more complications for him because most kids who go to school either have a religious belief, or are instructed, how you claimed you've explained to be considerate of others' beliefs, to learn how to be empathetic of others beliefs. PLEASE REMEMBER that kids of all ages learn what they know and speak from the adults around them- in the home, at school, and even from their fellow students and chums. Sid isn't speaking his thoughts, per say, on his own, I believe, but what he's hearing being spoken around him by most the adults in his life. Yes, I'm certain he's seen first-hand how religion divides. I know that, too. My family is split all over the place in soooooo many directions, religiously, and if it were that easy to just stop believing because others are confused or 'appearing' to confuse my, or others, believes, I simply turn it over to God. He IS ALL seeing/knowing, and "mentally together," and He can deal with others 'quirks' easier than I can. For me, when I lost Mom (your grandmother) and other "sh**" that went down in my life, the lose of Rhett, etc., just stuff that I try not to dwell on, it would be so easy to say, "what the heck," and end it all? Why not? What have we got to lose? If we are simple returning, a flower or a bird, or what have you, no matter how we behave, if we were to end our own lives, for example, what difference would it make? Without God we really have nothing, nothing to look forward to after leaving here. (I am TRULY sorry that the J. Witnesses have let you down!!! :( You were raised in it, and it has got to be the HARDEST thing to deal with, when family members turn themselves off from you, ceasing all communication, unless smalltalk. ((I once had a sister who communicated with me with mainly smalltalk. {I think you know her well} We weren't as close after I stopped studying with the Witnesses when she was STILL one. She never told me stop calling or writing, etc., but there was a lack of communication after I stopped attending meetings. It tore me up, but, I hung in there.)) Yes, it's nuts, this world is crazy nowadays, but if I didn't have God or a HOPE, once I'm no longer on this planet, then what?) I "choose" to BELIEVE we have a much HIGHER PURPOSE, and if that makes me less, then I'm less. So many times I have felt so unloved by sooooooooooo many people, perhaps myself, included, that without that "belief" I'd be gone... I'd be no more.... But I "chose" to live on, and just tell myself I'm good, as is, and if someone thinks less of me because I'm depressed, or what have you, screw them, I don't need them. I won't give up God, because without that FAITH I'm very much unloved and alone. (I still feel this way now.) There are many in my family who no longer communicate with me since my mom died! I was with her six day a week, for many, many years. You'd think out of LOVE, they would write or call me once and awhile just to see how I'm handling my aloneness, but no such luck. I spoke to one sister after hearing she'd suffered a few minor heart attacks, and I phoned her to see if she was alright, and her remark. "Don't ask me to live with me, because you can't") WOW, that CUT like a KNIFE, I never asked to live with her, nor wanted to, I just wanted to see that she was okay. But I considered the "source." I'm alone almost every day for the majority of the day, and still have loved ones around me a few times a week, but mostly I'm alone. I miss Mom so much! So you see, for me, without God, I'm TOTALLY ALONE, mostly isolated, with only my beloved pets. My family could care less if I die, I'm sure, for the most part... at least half of them could give a crap. But I "choose" to forgive them, because I ROCK, and if they don't want anything to do with me, that is THEIR LOSS- no big deal. I still have GOD.. You see, He IS important to me.... or I'd be WAY alone since losing Mom.
I, too, know people of other faiths/religions. My friend Rick Springfield claims he is a Buddhist, and yet this year he's putting out a new Christmas CD. I think he's confused, but whatever.... When we talk it's normally smalltalk stuff. If I ever asked him why he claims he's a Buddhist, and then does a Christmas CD, I think, truthfully, even though he speaks with his "mouth" one thing, he "believes, deep down in his heart," that without God and Christ, there's really nothing. I've told him, via telephone- when he claims we all need to ask for "healing light," or what have you around us, I remind him that he's wrong, that we need God and Jesus. I think deep down he believes this too, and I told him how I'm certain his father is waiting in that "better place" for him. Rick's dad died in 1981. I am nearly 90% certain that he figures this is true, too. What is so wrong with wanting to seeing our deceased loved ones, and clinging to a hope that we WILL one day. If not, I never got the chance to know my dad, your grandfather, because he died when I was three, but I want to know him and know I will know him one day. Jerry died when I was eleven. So many other lost loved ones. I'm sorry but this truly baffles me, why believe in NOTHING when EVERYTHING is so easy to have. Nobody said we all must be "perfect," just forgiven. We stumble, we fall; we get back up, dust ourselves off, and ask to be forgiven, and, we TRY all over again. This, to me, is what Christianity is all about.
You are RIGHT, LOVE is KEY, but without God there is no love. I'm sorry. He isn't a big bearded man in the sky without self esteem, nor a psychopath, ,but a loving Daddy who accepts we all makes mistakes, and loves us in spite of those mistakes... even when we go, "ROUND TWO HUNDRED," or whatever. He's there for us.
I LOVE YOU with my WHOLE HEART, and I have since you were born, way back in 1973... You are a BEAUTIFUL MAN with a truly AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL HEART, and please love me the same because I'm speaking my mind, how you've done here.
Love always,
MJ, your aunt... here in good old drizzly Minnesota!!
Of course I love ya, and I'm glad you spoke your mind. Like I've said over and over, love and compassion for other people, regardless of their religious beliefs. Love is my religion.
I'm glad you can think of God in such glowing terms. I know that religious people always say that he's the ultimate superlative good, but I personally can't square that with the character described in the Old Testament (that's where my "xenophobic psychopath with low self-esteem" comes in... xenophobic because he seems to despise all nations except Israel, psychopathic because he repeatedly kills people with no remorse and low self-esteem because he seems to require so much worship from people and nobody who is secure in themselves needs people to worship them). I don't care how many nice things you say about a mass-murderer, he's still a mass-murderer...
Hopefully, though, those stories aren't true and there really is a nice God and he's everything you need him to be. I'd like that for you and I'd never tell you not to believe in Him if it works for you.
Ryan